Americans, You’ve Been Warned!

by Expat Focus columnist, Toni Hargis

If you’ve read my book, you’ll know that I go to great pains to keep Americans apprised of British customs, sayings and manners. Not that we all take tea at precisely 4pm every day, or consort with the Queen on a regular basis, but there are some things that while minor, make all the difference.

If you’ve yet to read Rules, Britannia, let me recap a few of my tips:

Please – While the meaning of “please” is usually implied in the tone of an American request, the word itself is not always used. In the UK, its absence will draw audible intakes of breath and small children may well find the cookie, or toy they are requesting withheld until they “ask properly”. The word “please” is used by everyone regardless of background; it is said to everyone regardless of station, so that includes waiters and other people paid to serve you.

He/She – Again, while no harm is meant in the US by referring to a person as “he” or “she” while they are standing right in front of you, it’s considered very rude in the UK, and often elicits the rhetorical and shocked question “Who’s she? The cat’s mother”. Seriously. If you can’t remember, or don’t know, the name of the person you’re talking about, simply say “We were just discussing…..”.


Read more about language problems:
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Things to Consider Before Emigrating – The Total Cost

by Toni Hargis

How many people do you know who talk about emigrating? Chances are, most of them have yet to do it, and it’s often because of the huge costs involved. It is crucial to get a detailed idea of these costs in order to avoid disappointment and/or hardship down the line.
The costs can basically be divided into “getting there” and “arrival” costs:

Getting there:

Establish first of all, whether you’re actually eligible to relocate to your chosen spot. Some countries like Australia and the UK , have a point system which includes your salary or earning potential; others like the USA look at your ability to support yourself and/or the family you are planning to bring with you.

Visa type – all visas cost money, but some are more expensive than others. Establishing your eligibility should go hand in hand with figuring out what type of visa you’ll need (if applicable). If you have a complicated visa application, you may also need to hire an agent or a lawyer, which is never cheap.

Additional application costs, such as visa interviews (and travel to and from), background checks and medical exams must also be factored into the overall cost to emigrate. Requirements are different around the world, but none of them are free.

Visiting expenses – many people visit a place before emigrating, which can rack up the costs. Include flights, accommodation, vehicle rental or transportation costs, and temporary visas if applicable.

Shipping your goods – this will be one of your largest expenses, unless you’re planning to literally start afresh. In most cases, sending a container of goods abroad will run into the thousands, with the price increasing the farther you travel. Don’t forget to include the costs of shipping or flying animals.

Property costs – you may have a property to sell, which entails a fee to your realtor or agent. What if the property doesn’t sell by your moving date? How many months’ mortgage can you afford to carry? Do you already own property in your new country? If not, you’ll need rent money too.

Arrival:

As mentioned, you will probably need...

Article continues www.expatfocus.com/toni-hargis-140411

Knowing Where You’re Going

by Toni Hargis


I was educated in England and have found the American education system to be one of the most difficult “assimilation” areas so far. One thing I have never really done is make comparisons; the two systems are so different it’s not really apples and apples. However I have recently discovered my one exception to this rule – the college applications process.

My daughter is currently applying to American colleges for attendance in September. It’s quite a different system from its English counterpart, and I have to say, kinder. In England, you apply to most colleges through UCAS, (Universities and Colleges Admissions Services) with a single application that UCAS manages. You can apply for up to five courses (at the same or different universities or colleges), it’s all confidential, and you’re not required to give a preference order. In my day you had to put them in order of preference, meaning that the colleges further down the list often rejected you just for daring to list them so low. Students then receive offers either conditional on end of year grades, or unconditional which means that you’re in. The tricky part comes in knowing which ones to decline, as you can only hold one firm acceptance and one insurance place. Do you accept the offer from the fab university and hope you get the grades, or plump for the college asking for slightly lower grades? Nowadays, there is” adjustment” whereby if you meet or exceed your expected grades, you have five days to reapply for a better place than the one you’re holding...

Read more about education in the USA: www.expatfocus.com/toni-hargis-140311

It’s All in the Delivery

by Toni Hargis

“I shouldn't be saying this - high treason, really - but I sometimes wonder if Americans aren't fooled by our accent into detecting brilliance that may not really be there.” - Stephen Fry

When it comes to accents it's great being a Brit in the States. OK, let me qualify that. Sometimes I would like to be able to sneak in and out of a shop without attracting the covert attention of everyone around me simply by asking for a gallon of milk. Oh yes, and it would be rather nice not to have the occasional sales assistant start imitating me, to my astonishment! I’m sure they mean well, but a) they usually have terrible “Briddish” accents, and b) would they do that if my accent was Bolivian or Bangladeshi? I think perhaps not.

Anyway, as I was about to say, although many of us have different British accents, they are usually all very popular with the natives here. Having grown up with British-sounding people I never really thought about us coming across as particularly intelligent or sophisticated, apart from the real boffins* that is. Indeed, there are some UK accents that sound positively brainless, even when the individual has a triple digit IQ (not naming any of course.) Americans however, don’t seem to make the same distinction, or at least I’ve never heard a British accent being denigrated.

From my own experience in the States, I have to agree with Fry’s statement. I’m quite often asked to read something out at school parent meetings for example, and when I ask why, I’m told it “will sound better with a British accent”. Personally, I think your average American has such a smooth, confident delivery on anything from the cafeteria menu to international diplomacy, I’d never dream of questioning them, but apparently I’m in the minority...

Read more: www.expatfocus.com/toni-hargis-170211

Something Else to Consider Before Making the Big Move

by Expat Focus Columnist, Toni Hargis

In addition to the list of things I wrote about last year, there’s another thing to consider before making the big move abroad. Family. (If you’re reading this having just had a tiff with the mother-in-law or a sibling, come back when you’ve calmed down.) But seriously, despite the well-worn adage “You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family”, raising children abroad often means raising them thousands of miles from family members.

My teenage daughter recently wrote a paper about being a “dual citizen” (US and UK) and her familiarity with both countries. She has cousins her age in England, and indeed second and third cousins that she knows quite well, but no cousins in the US. Although she loves life in the US, and considers herself more American then British since she was born here, she stated that she felt “at home” and “safe” in England because of her family. As someone who is very close both to siblings and cousins, that made me question whether my move abroad has been the right thing to do for my children.

Although many people move abroad for a “better life”, you should consider how great that life is will be if there are no family members within hundreds, even thousands, of miles? Might it affect how children relate to their own children in later life? Will the lack of close family members contribute to any feelings of homesickness or isolation? ...

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Halloween, American Style

by Expat Focus Columnist, Toni Hargis


Despite having lived in the States for twenty years, you’d be surprised at how many bits of American culture I still haven’t embraced. Top of that list is marching bands, which are ever-present at college football games and positively set my teeth on edge. They’re loud, and not particularly pleasing to the ear – especially when they attempt the ubiquitous “Rock n’ Roll”, by Gary Glitter. Fortunately I only ever come across college football on TV where there is an “Off” button.

Parades are another pet hate – perhaps because they include marching bands? For many important days in the US calendar (Thanksgiving, Christmas, St. Patrick’s Day) there’s a parade. The big ones in New York City are televised, but many cities and towns across the land have their own parades. Unfortunately, many of them are during our winter months, so not only would I be required to stand on the side of the road with crowds of other people, but we’d usually be in sub zero temperatures. I think not.

One piece of American culture I have wholeheartedly embraced however, is Halloween. Yes, I’ve stepped over to the dark side. I know many people (usually not in the USA) think Halloween is just one big commercial hijack, and indeed, Hallmark makes more money from this “holiday” than all the others combined, but it’s not like that. Really.

Since my seventeen year old was a baby, I have immersed myself in coming up with Halloween costumes for my kids (did I mention that these costumes don’t have to be scary? The world’s your oyster.) I’ve sewn Red Riding Hood, Bo Peep and Marie Antoinette for her, glued robots and monsters for the boys, and painted a new toilet brush black for a chimney sweep outfit. The school has a Halloween parade for the younger kids, and everyone else in the building comes out to see them walking around, grinning from ear to ear. We decorate our house (tastefully, of course), put polystyrene gravestones in the front yard/garden and make black paper bats to hang from the light fixtures (we will not be...

Read more at http://www.expatfocus.com/toni-hargis-241010

Expat Living - Lessons in Humility

by Expat Focus columnist, Toni Hargis

Whether you move around the world or just to one country, I guarantee you’ll make a fool of yourself at some point. It can be a language blooper or a culture clanger, but it’s there, lurking on your horizon. For the most part too, it’ll happen when you have an audience of at least five, who will then repeat the story until it becomes an urban legend.

We’ve all done it, so you’ll be in good company. In fact, take comfort from these examples of red faces and cringing embarrassment.

The first wedding I ever attended in the States was just a minefield of social gaffes for me. I wore a hat (it was 1991 after all, and I was hot off the plane from London). I was THE only person wearing head gear, and I think some people looked at it as an English eccentricity. I couldn’t even take it off because I had the dreaded “hat hair”. Then, when my husband and I went to take our seats, I completely ignored the young man standing at the top of the aisle pointing his elbow at me. Apparently I was supposed to take his arm and let him walk me to my pew, but I marched straight past and seated myself while my husband shot him a “she’s not from here” look of explanation. Fortunately I didn’t learn about my mistake until my husband deigned to tell me – about a week later.

Another personal gaffe was my first US Christmas work lunch. The waiter was taking drinks orders and I didn’t register that the two women before me had ordered iced tea. I ordered a glass of red wine, to be met with an uncomfortable look from the waiter and deathly silence all around me as my colleagues waited for my boss’ reaction. (He just laughed at the situation.) Not one single person other than me ordered alcohol, even though this was our Christmas celebration. I couldn’t believe it. Not wanting to change my order and look like a suck-up I said, “Well obviously I’m only having the one” and drank diet soda after that. Goodness knows what got written up in my Personnel file...

Read more at http://www.expatfocus.com/toni-hargis-200910

Toni Hargis: Learning the Lingo

About the Author Toni Hargis is the author of the popular expat book "Rules, Britannia; An Insider’s Guide to Life in the United Kingdom" and blogs as Expat Mum

How long do you have to live in a country to feel like you know what on earth everyone’s talking about? In my case, there’s not even a second language involved as we’re all supposed to be speaking English. I’ve written at length about the vocabulary differences between British and American English, but in my experience, the real confusion comes from day to day expressions which bear no relation to their actual meaning.

For example, even though I’ve been in the USA almost twenty years, I apparently have had no idea what “being behind the eight ball” means. It’s a very common phrase here and I always assumed it was a good thing (don’t ask me why but I had really good pool/snooker players in mind), but no, in fact it means quite the opposite. If you’re behind the eight ball, you’re in serious trouble, or in a tricky situation.

OK, what about a getting the “bum’s rush”? No – get your minds out of the gutter, it means to be forcibly ejected from somewhere or told to leave in a hurry. Remember, the American word “bum” means a tramp rather than a posterior, so the bum’s rush derives from wanting to rid a place of undesirable characters.

And what if someone requests your John Hancock? It hardly bears thinking about really does it? John Hancock was one of the founders of the United States and the first man to sign the Declaration of Independence in 1776. Apparently from the late nineteenth century onwards, John Hancock has been slang for one’s signature. A bit like Cockney rhyming slang without the rhyming...

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Some Things to Consider Before Making the Big Move

by Expat Focus columnist, Toni Hargis

About the Author Toni Hargis is the author of the popular expat book "Rules, Britannia; An Insider’s Guide to Life in the United Kingdom" and blogs as Expat Mum

According to the UK’s Office for National Statistics, approximately 172,000 Brits left their homeland in 2008, with only half leaving for work reasons. The rest were accompanying someone, looking for work or just travelling around, presumably in search of a better life. It’s more difficult to get US figures, as the government measures immigration but curiously, not emigration; a recent UN report* however, states that in 2009 three per cent of the world’s population (200 million) lived in a country other than the one in which they were born. In short, there are a lot of people relocating around the globe.

If you’re a migrant moving by choice, the grass may well be greener where you’re headed, but it won’t always be plain sailing. Here are a few things you should think about before taking the plunge:

Be prepared – From the practical to the cerebral, there are lots of things you can anticipate to make your relocation smoother. Expat American Michele Oyen recalls “The biggest hassle of moving for me had to do with banking and credit cards; there are plenty of things I could have done that would have improved my life if I had set up international banking services before I left the US.”

(A note to Americans from the IRS, “If you are a U.S. citizen or resident alien, the rules for filing income, estate, and gift tax returns and paying estimated tax are generally the same whether you are in the United States or abroad. Your worldwide income is subject to U.S. income tax, regardless of where you reside.”)

It helps to read about the culture into which you are heading, even when you think it’s not going to be too different from where you are. Adds Oyen, “The irony is that it never occurred to me to look into advice for expats before I moved--no books, blogs, or any of the other resources available. I'd certainly advise someone to look.” Indeed, with the amount of information readily available on the Web, there’s no excuse these days...

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